DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

phungi · Post by **phungi** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 11:41 am

Nothing more daunting for a newbie than to tackle a "Song of the Week" but what better way to leap in than head-first?

"When She's Gone" appears, on the surface, as another song in the genre of unhappy women trapped in a co-dependent relationship. Perhaps she simply "can't find a better man," or perhaps this is simply a self-evident message (as Vic Chesnutt said) "no doubt she is the doubting woman." Do we over-analyze? From Patterson Hood's own words: "…a lot of these songs are almost story-songs with the story removed. I mean, ‘When He’s Gone’ is almost like a scene from a film without the context of the story that it’s based on. … I think that’s great that people are reading all these things into it that aren’t necessarily there."

Well, we're going to analyze, especially when confronted with another conflicted character we can so easily relate to, or at least one with whom we can empathize.

There is no hidden gem of a film clip or short story to explain the "when, where or why," and we have to accept PH's words at face value, that there is none. That said, this song and subject are so easily assimilated. We have seen many such (Jungian) archetypal figures portrayed in the DBT "character catalog": great mother, father, child, devil, god, wise old man, wise old woman, trickster, hero. There doesn't seem to be evidence of an unconscious projection here, but rather, in this song we have a “union of opposites,” presented through the anima (primordial image of woman, as seen by men).

Lyrically, we have vivid imagery, metaphors, and double-entendres that help paint the clearest picture in the fewest words necessary (scrubs in basins never clean, it won’t wash off, the smell of compromise… burns like an effigy when he’s gone, it makes her mad, how attached she’s become).

The entire song is written 3rd-person, from an almost entirely female perspective, with "examples" of male behavior presented solely to inform her thinking (i.e., he opens the door for her, there’s kindness in his smile, but she loathes the need in his eyes). There is, ultimately, no real tangible outcome or "male" solution; no opportunity to "prove her wrong"… we are detached observers, "it’s too bad... it’s someone else’s song." The only time a male perspective is presented, we see evidence of a silent approach, which might suggest he is simply clueless, or dimly unable to communicate (i.e., he might come home, after she’s sleeping and quietly admire the smile on her lips, he crawls up beside her). However, in the final observation, which perhaps insures the future fate/perpetuation of the relationship, "she presses it all up against him," and simply "dreams."

Great song in its simplicity and complexity, and holds its own an incredible run of songs on EO. The airy, electric guitars kick-off the song, with the organ creating a bit of a somber sound, and while there isn’t an iconic lick, the guitar fills combined with the lyrics create a memorable sound… the song ends as it starts, with airy guitar fading out, as does the story.

"When He's Gone"
She sits alone and stares out the window, the thoughts pour out
the morning sun pours in
She paints a smile on her lips and looks at herself in the mirror
As her day begins
She scrubs in basins never clean, it won’t wash off
the smell of compromise
He opens the door for her, there’s kindness in his smile
but she loathes the need in his eyes

She can’t stand to have him around
but she always misses him when he’s gone

She burns like an effigy when he’s gone it makes her mad
how attached she’s become
and if it were up to me, I’d prove her wrong, but it’s too bad
it’s someone else’s song
He might come home, after she’s sleeping and quietly admire
the smile on her lips
He crawls up beside her, she presses it all up against him
and dreams

She can’t stand to have him around
but she always misses him when he’s gone…

Smitty · Post by **Smitty** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 12:43 pm

Loved that, phungi.
However, I'm fairly certain the official lyrics are wrong about the "she loathes the need in his eyes", as PH clearly says "loves" in the album version, which completely changes the meaning of the line. The "loves the need in his eyes" line makes more sense in the context of the song, though ("how attached she's become").

beantownbubba · Post by **beantownbubba** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 12:49 pm

Well, i guess if you're gonna jump in you might as well jump in w/ some Jungian analysis

LOL Nice job, phungi.

Smitty, I'm not sure what PH sings on the album, but "loathes" definitely makes more sense. I'll let lotusamerica explain it. Or maybe phungi would like to plunge deeper into the psyche of darkness.

Forgot to say that while we may be in the minority, phungi, I agree w/ you that "Gone" holds its own in the terrific opening run of the album.

Smitty · Post by **Smitty** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 1:04 pm

beantownbubba wrote:Well, i guess if you're gonna jump in you might as well jump in w/ some Jungian analysis LOL Nice job, phungi.

Smitty, I'm not sure what PH sings on the album, but "loathes" definitely makes more sense. I'll let lotusamerica explain it. Or maybe phungi would like to plunge deeper into the psyche of darkness.

I disagree. By saying "she loves the need in his eyes", it's acknowledging why she keeps him around - he makes her feel wanted. She probably hates the fact that she feels that way, but that's the closest (only) explanation we get as to why she's become attached. I probably didn't articulate that very well (I'm not writer on par with you or lotus), but I stand behind my assessment. If she "loathed" the need in his eyes, there's nothing in the song to suggest why she misses him at all, no reason as to why she loves him (or at least stays with him), so we have to take that at face value with no reasoning at all behind it.

phungi · Post by **phungi** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:13 pm

I missed that (loves vs. loathes) as I took the easy route and copied the lyrics online... listened to the EO version, and it is definitely "loves" on the studio version, but much harder to confirm from several live versions on Archive.org.

Interesting that the line is offset by "but" which sets up "loving" the needs in his eyes (but also works well with the opposite, loathing).

I promise to keep the analyses to a minimum, except when Clams comments, in which case we switch to Freud...

ramonz · Post by **ramonz** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:29 pm

I've never been convinced that the "she always misses him when he's gone" is a positive thing. Maybe she misses him b/c she has to change all the diapers when he's gone, do all the other chores, etc. So for that reason, I'm a "loathe" guy.

This tune doesn't seem to get a ton of love in the EO song rankings post, but it's one of my favorites on the album. Love the late-trilogy guitar sound to it, but mostly love the slow-burn aspect of it. It never really takes off, but I could imagine a coda or extended version live where the band GOES OFF off and paints a picture of what it would look/sound like if the truth really came out and the protagonists in the song said what they really felt, and all hell broke loose.

Smitty · Post by **Smitty** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:39 pm

phungi wrote:I promise to keep the analyses to a minimum, except when Clams comments, in which case we switch to Freud...

It's kind of a 3DD signature to overanalyze the shit out of everything, so no holding back.

RevMatt · Post by **RevMatt** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:57 pm

This song is reflective of the direction Patterson Hood has been going these past couple years. He cut his teeth writing songs about dysfunctional and sometimes violent relationships. ("Runaway Train", "Feb 14", "Why Henry Drinks") Around the time of Heat Lightning Patterson returned to troubled relationships. In these newer songs the drinking, grudge fucking and the sort of fights that cause the neighbors to call the cops are absent. Instead, the couples are more mature and exhibit less outwardly dysfunctional behavior. But despite the maturity of the subjects the relationships are no less painful or troubled.

Even though this song is told from the narrative perspective of the wife, the listener still gets the sense that it is from the man's point of view. I think that is the song's strength. One gets the sense that the man is trying to understand the reasons why his needs aren't being met in the relationship. It is a painful song.

In the past couple of years Patterson Hood seems to be going in a direction similar to John Lennon at his most naked and vulnerable -- especially on songs like "After The Damage". His more recent work also recalls Springsteen's Tunnel of Love period. His songs have become personal and transparent and the emotional transparency has delivered the occasional gut shot. I went through a divorce when I was in my forties. No furniture was broken and, for the most part, we kept it civil for the sake of the kids. Some of these songs have brought me back to that same emotional place.

Flea · Post by **Flea** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 7:10 pm

Put me in the category of feeling that "loathe" makes more narrative sense. The lines

"She burns like an effigy when he’s gone it makes her mad
how attached she’s become"

indicate that this is a person who needs and treasures her independence, and feels like she is self-sacrificing to stay with the guy - yet, paradoxically, feels alone when he's gone. The protagonist realizes she wants a relationship that, for her, is all take and no give - and feels guilty about it.

bovine knievel · Post by **bovine knievel** » Mon Jun 09, 2014 10:46 pm

Well done, phungi.

This is one of my favorites from EO.

Post by **Tequila Cowboy** » Tue Jun 10, 2014 6:24 am

Folks, directly from the man, it's loathe. Carry on.

phungi · Post by **phungi** » Tue Jun 10, 2014 8:09 am

Tequila Cowboy wrote:Folks, directly from the man, it's loathe. Carry on.

OP edited back to "loathes"... personally, I think "the man" set me up for this... some sort of initiation test or such...

Flea · Post by **Flea** » Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:22 pm

phungi wrote:
Tequila Cowboy wrote:Folks, directly from the man, it's loathe. Carry on.

OP edited back to "loathes"... personally, I think "the man" set me up for this... some sort of initiation test or such...

At least you weren't greeted with choruses of

New Meat!

DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

Re: DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

Re: DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

Re: DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

Re: DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

Re: DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

Re: DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

Re: DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

Re: DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

Re: DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

Re: DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

Re: DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"

Re: DBT Track of the Week 144 "When He's Gone"